Her Insecurities: Killing the Family

Women are biologically nurturing and caring, but it is emotional, mental, spiritual, physical, and financial pain that steer women away from our biological instinct. Hurt leads us down a road of bitterness, greediness, stubbornness, selfishness, anger, depression, pride, and envy.
For those who are inspired by us, look for the comfort, nurture, and support that we naturally bring to relationships. When we are not in the position to do so, our incapability to give our gifts leads to those we inspired by us to stray in a direction that leads to more pain and sorrow. Now, we have transferred our same sorrows and pain to those that need us and who are apart our lives.

   Some would disagree stating that “women” take a lot of things from our families, friends, workplace, and society overall, which is true. Just because we take a lot does not mean we are not distributing the same amount hurt to others in return. That is where honesty comes in. Our insecurities and pain are killing our families.

We are displaying and verbally revealing our fears, doubts, and alarming defensive mechanisms even if they are destroying the structure and dynamics of our families and friendships. We would rather participate in things that feeds our emotions and starve the souls, which leave us unhappy and unfulfilled. Some of us have accepted the fact that dysfunction is the way things are acceptable in life. Everything I have described above is everything I was guilty of and I have seen others guilty of also.

   Merriam-Webster defines insecurity with five different definitions. The number five represents manifestation and spiritual essences of freedom, which is what we will have once we acknowledge our insecurities without hiding or sabotaging them. The first definition is not being confident or sure. The second definition is not adequately guarded or sustain. The third definition is not firmly fastened or fixed. The fourth definition is not highly stabled or well-adjusted. The final definition is deficient in assurance beset by fear and anxiety.

Not Being Confident or Sure in Oneself

Malcolm X said it best when he stated, ” a mind that stands for nothing will stand for anything.” The enemy’s trap is to go after the weak and lonely. We must understand and be confident in the fact that we are more than our bodies, in which we should not allow others to objectify our image. We are not objects but we are beings. We hold knowledge, love, emotional resilience, beauty, intuitive knowledge, and a nurturing spirit. We must learn to love who we are and our mistakes also!

Isaiah 32:17 (NIV) “The fruit of that righteousness will be peace; its effect will be quietness and confidence forever.”

At the end of the day confidence is key.

Not Adequately Guarded or Sustained

When we are not confident in who we are and what we stand for. We are very easily persuaded or influenced. Also, seen as not adequately guarded or sustain. The energy we carry flows over to our friends, family, and other parts of our lives.

When you are not adequately guarded, or sustained it so easy for the enemy and others with selfish intent to come either to take or destroy what is yours. They will also try to take or destroy the precious gift that lies in front of us (family and friends) or within us.

Proverbs 4:23 (NIV) states ” Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

Guard your heart and your gifts by giving it to God and allowing him to show you what your heart really needs rather than want.

Not Firmly Fastened or Fixed

Not allowing yourself to heal and let go of your pain and hurt causes insecurity. When you are not all the way heal, you will allow your past to enter your future. Even though, the current situation may look like the past, when we are unhealed we will interpret the present to be the past.

It is hard to heal and it is hard to let go, but it’s worth it. Being healed feels like weight being lifted off my shoulders, chest, and head. My healing is still in the making, but the things God has delivered me from feels so good. Healing does require a lot of faith in God, constant growth, and constant prayer to God to heal what material things and substance cannot.

Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV) states, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Not Highly Stabled or Well-adjusted

Balance is everything. When you are unhealed, you are imbalanced emotionally, mentally, spiritually, physically, and emotionally depending on the individual. This leads to mental health issues, very aggressive or passive behavior, hopelessness, diseases, and debt in a lot of places.

When you are imbalance, it is hard to live consciously leaving you to survive from your subconscious mind and emotions. When we live this way, we are teaching others to react impulsivity, invest money on unreliable things, and demonstrate poor communication skills. When we are imbalanced in one or many areas we give others permission to do it also.

Galatians 5:22-23 (NIV) states ” The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”

This is the gift from God when we slowdown in our lives and balance out the things in our live that are imbalanced which usually revolves around letting go of things that no longer positively serve us.

Deficient in Assurance Beset by Fear and Anxiety

Fear and anxiety will control your life if you allow it. When we have been hurt, or filled with pain for so long, it is so easy to function in fear of anxiety because you are afraid to experience the same hurt and anxious of facing the same situation twice or more than once.

Organizing your thoughts and emotions by seeing a therapist or writing in a journal will allow fear and anxiety to no longer serve you. We were not meant to function in fear or anxiety, which puts our body in fight or flight mode. This mode is a survival mode that causes us to react irrationally to things that may not be worth our time.

Isaiah 54:4 (NIV) states, “Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated. You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.”

Don’t allow fear and anxiety to rest in your soul. Always know that when substantial is lost, knowledge and wisdom is gained.

Being women can be difficult because much of our hard work goes unrecognized or unacknowledged. The physical pain from childbirth to the emotional pain that affects us when we allow our worth to rest in nouns (people, places or things).
No matter what, there is always room for improvement to work within ourselves and acknowledge that it ok to be wrong or do thing differently.

The structure and the dynamic of family is well-needed in society, and there are too many of our love ones dying for the love of things searching for the love of someone who can care, nurture, and support whole heartedly.

Even if we were not taught the proper way or had an acceptable example of righteousness to be an honorable mother, daughter, granddaughter, sister, friend, wife, girlfriend, niece, or cousin. God will always show you the righteousness way of being. When we as women learn to let go and not to control things, things will begin to flow together at the end of the day. It’s hard pill to swallow but it holds good benefits once it is consumed. Let go and let God!

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