The Downfall Of Having Expectations: Leaning Not on My Own Understanding

       I always felt that having expectations was essential to the manifestation of life. If I expected, then I shall receive? The true definition of expectations is having a strong belief that something will happen in the near future. 

       I thought expectations worked because they were placed on me as a child, but being honest with my self! I hated when expectations were placed on me because most of the time I knew I could not reach up too them. It didn’t correspond to my true self. 

    Even though I hated expectations, learned behavior required that I keep expectations for comfort sake. So expectations became a big factor in my relationships especially with my spouse. 

   When my spouse did not meet my expectations I allowed myself to fall into disappointment and discouragement about our relationship. With feeling disappointment and discouragement, opened the door for resentful and angry to settle in my head about our relationship. 

Even though it was a relationship where God gave permission; It didn’t meet my expectations of a true relationship! Experiencing the same thing over and over, I discovered that my expectations was not what God viewed as important for my life. God gives us what we need rather than what we want. If our desires are aligned with his purpose for our life. We can have anything. 

   In Proverbs 10:28 KJV – The hope of the righteous [shall be] gladness: but the expectation of the wicked shall perish.”

  I could not understand why my spouse couldn’t meet my expectations. I mean I thought my expectations were good and they seem to be measurable. I definitely didn’t understand what the issue was. Countless arguments over the same thing was not solving what I was yearning within. 

 Obtaining more alone time with prayer and meditation. I began to discover that my expectations was not resulting into what I truly wanted at all in my relationships. I had to ask myself what did my true self truly want in life? I discovered that I was operating much through my ego and past hurt perspective when it came to relationships and not from true self. 

    In Proverbs 24:14 KJV states, “ So [shall] the knowledge of wisdom [be] unto thy soul: when thou hast found [it], then there shall be a reward, and thy expectation shall not be cut off.

   All of the expectations I held on too were all surfaced from hurt and my own selfish desires. I was also still holding on to my family’s expectations for my life.

   My old philosophy was that if others could not fulfill my expectations then they were not worthy of being in my life or my time. That’s pretty ridiculous when think about it;but that’s how the wounded self was able to operate. Selfishness was seen as protection from being used and abused again. I thought it was working, but it was just causing more harm than good. 

    I walked around with a perspective that since people could not love me unconditionally then I know materials could. I would not have to worry about harm or danger coming from them. Material possessions was seen as positive reinforcement to a temporary high from those substances.

  What I didn’t recognize from that outdated philosophy was that material possessions and people could not bring true fulfillment. Only God could bring me love and appreciation I yearned for. It was time to believe in God’s word about myself and not lean my own understanding of how my life should be. 

In Proverbs 3:5-8 NIV, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.”

    My selfish desire required that I depend on food for comfort, money for protection, and shopping for relieving stress. Obtaining expectations in relationships for me was setting boundaries, so I thought. 

   Proverbs 19:2 NIV states, “Desire without knowledge is not good— how much more will hasty feet miss the way!”

   Thank God, I was wrong. I guarded my expectations with everything in me. Just envision how hard it was for me to let go of all my expectations for my life and  relationships. I was giving up control for what I thought would bring me true joy in my relationships with my family and  spouse. 

 Jeremiah 29:11 KJV states, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

     The energy of attraction for living your best life requires for your desires to be aligned with your true self. Your true self is aligned with the spirit, which comes from God. Our deepest desires is to live with integrity, which allows us to be honest with our true self about our morals and principles that come from God.  Integrity allows us to be in a state of bring whole within because we are confident in God’s word upon our life. 

Once, your desires are aligned with God’s plan then you will be able manifest your desires more naturally and effortlessly. Accepting the word and love of God upon your life allows you to trust in his timing. 

   Learning from the downfall of having expectations, allows you to let go of the expectations for your own life.  It allows you to become more selfless in your relationships because you have more room to give than to obtain. 

   I began to no longer seek how others will serve me but how can I could serve others without any expectations. The downfall of having expectations allowed me to develop the concept that changing others is not the goal anymore because everyone’s spiritual path is perfect for them. 

Psalm 19:14 NIV states,” Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer. 

   It’s our jobs as spiritual beings of this world to love others at their current stage that they are in life Whether if we agree with it or not.  We are built to allow our energy to bring forth peace to others, and stand in our truth. Our truth comes from the word of God and our purpose in life. It’s the truth that lives deep within, which is eagerly waiting to be expressed to the world.  Once, we acknowledge and recognize this concept then we will began to enjoy being a co-creator with God bring forth creativity with joy, freedom and peace. 

  In words of David in Psalm 19:7-11 NIV,” The law of the Lord is perfect, refreshing the soul. The statutes of the Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple. The precepts of the Lord are right, giving joy to the heart. The commands of the Lord are radiant, giving light to the eyes. The fear of the Lord is pure, enduring forever. The decrees of the Lord are firm, and all of them are righteous. They are more precious than gold, than much pure gold; they are sweeter than honey, than honey from the honeycomb. By them your servant is warned; in keeping them there is great reward.”

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